Five Christmas Gifts That Don’t Come In Boxes - as published on lifeteen.com/blog by Jay Martin12/21/2016 Temperatures are going down, lights and trees are going up, and that one Mariah Carey song is all over the radio. All of these things can only mean one thing: Christmas is almost here!
This holiday season, you can pretty much count on a couple of things: Elf will be on TV about 75% of the day, you’ll see an ugly Christmas sweater with Santa dabbing on it, and people will spend a whole lot of money buying gifts for friends and family. The average American will spend $426 and buy about 14 presents this Christmas season according to a study by Deloitte. That’s a whole lot of “Jesus Saves” coin banks and Testamints! But if that statistic about Christmas gift giving doesn’t blow your mind, listen to this one: a recent survey conducted by Cornell University showed a continuing trend of more people preferring experiential gifts nowadays over material gifts. Having vs. Doing Think of it this way: would you prefer the latest album of your favorite band, or tickets to see them in concert? A new Call of Duty video game or a trip to your local arcade & laser tag arena? A nice painting, or a group party at one of those artsy painting places where everyone tries to draw a sunset? Don’t get me wrong, material gifts can be great, but like all things on earth, they eventually lose their value and we get tired of them. Experiential gifts meanwhile leave long-lasting memories that actually gain in value over time, and you’re more likely to bond with the gift-giver and connect with other people. If you’re like me though, you might not be able to afford big experiential gifts like tickets for your sibling’s favorite singer (have you seen the ticket prices for Carly Rae Jepsen’s tour?! Outrageous!). And we’re certainly not saying you shouldn’t give any material gifts this year either (Santa’s helpers would certainly get depressed, and have low elf esteem). Instead, consider giving a few gifts this year that don’t come in boxes or have a price tag, but are still filled with incredible worth and that people will remember long after they experience them. Presence One of the biggest presents you could give your family this Christmas might simply be your full presence and giving your undivided attention to them. There are so many things fighting for our attention nowadays, so maybe this involves leaving your phone in your room or staying away from other distractions and technology. Regardless of what it takes, simply ‘being where your feet are’ and engaging those around you is invaluable. The holidays are a great opportunity for families to spend time together, and while it can be strenuous at times and tempting to have Twitter or Instagram close by to distract you, it’s worth the extra effort to be all-in. This is a gift that won’t have a bow on it, but chances are your parents will value it beyond measure. Service Another gift you won’t find on shelves, acts of service are great ways to show your friends and family you love them. It doesn’t necessarily have to be anything extravagant or over-the-top; the main thing is simply putting others before yourself. Philippians 2:4 reminds us to be “not looking to your own interests but to the interests of the others.” Help your parents out with Christmas dinner by offering to run to the store for them or helping out in the kitchen. If a sibling has a big school project or exam they’re studying for over Christmas break, give them a hand. Serving those outside of your family is a great gift too, such as doing yard work for an elderly neighbor or serving at a local soup kitchen. There are plenty of different ways you can serve others this Christmas, and the gift of your time and effort is always appreciated (unlike most gifts of socks). Forgiveness Forgiveness is a beautiful, heartfelt Christmas gift, and it even comes with free shipping. Whether it was words that were said, decisions that were made or any differences whatsoever, Christmas is a great opportunity to make amends and forgive others for ways they might have hurt or offended you. Forgiveness can be a tough gift to give, especially for deep wounds from the past. It can also be tough to have to ask for it yourself, but forgiving others is a crucial step in healing those wounds as you prepare the turn the page to the new year. Step up to the plate this year and give a gift that will never lose its value, and that the world needs a lot more of. Gratitude When was the last time you really let your family or friends know how much you appreciated them? If it’s been awhile, consider giving the gift of gratitude this Christmas. We have so much to be grateful for during Christmas, in both the big things and the small things, and especially in those we get to share the holidays with. Write your best friend a list of ten reasons why you’re grateful for them. Leave some chocolate and a note in your mailbox for your friendly neighborhood mailman. Let the grocery store cashier know that they are appreciated. Small acts of gratitude go a very long way, as knowing that you’re appreciated by others is a gift that no amount of money can be. Faith Last but not least, the gift of your faith is something that was made to be shared with others, and what better time than Christmas! Ask your loved ones how you can pray for them, and when they give you their intentions, instead of saying, “Okay, I’ll pray for you!” and walking away, instead ask them, “Ok cool, can we pray right now?” and go for it! That prayer experience is much more personal and powerful when shared. Other ways to give this gift can be going to confession as a family, making a rosary for someone, or simply being open to sharing with people with different faiths what you believe, and listening to them too with compassion. It can seem daunting to discuss the Catholic faith, especially if some family members or friends don’t share your beliefs, but this is so important now more than ever. 1 Peter 3:15 tells us to “always be ready to give an explanation to anyone who asks you for a reason for your hope.” Christmas is a great time of hope and faith, and these are gifts that are at the top of every person’s life wish list. An Extra-Merry Christmas If you want to make the most of the Christmas season and give gifts that aren’t collecting dust by February, really consider one of these five gifts that don’t come in a box. Not only are they incredibly affordable in terms of Christmas spending, more importantly they’re personal, heartfelt and all revolve around love. Christmas isn’t about what’s wrapped under the tree, it’s about gifts of self and acts of love that reflect the gift and love we received when Jesus Himself arrived on Christmas – the greatest gift of all.
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As I am writing this, I am struggling for air. I cannot get enough oxygen into my lungs, and my chest is tight and heavy. My ears are blocked, my throat feels like sandpaper, and my head is pounding with a quiet roar. This, my dear friends, is what happens when you bottle everything up for 4 months and finally let go: you get sick. I am sure you don’t need me to remind you that transitioning into college is difficult and some people handle it better than others. Let’s just say that I did struggle quite a bit. Throughout all of high school, and especially senior year, we would talk about college as if it is way ahead of us into the future, within reach but far away enough to not worry about. I understood that every moment I would spend with my friends here should be savored, since they would be all going their separate ways. I understood that I would have to find new friends who would never replace the old, but would bring something new. I understood that I wouldn’t get to see my family everyday, and at the time, I was so scared of that thought that I shoved it to the back of brain and avoided touching that topic. I understood that I would have to find something to connect me with my new home. But, you see, I thought I understood all of these things. Step One, go to elementary school; Step Two, move on to junior high; Step Three, here comes high school so get good grades and build your resume; Step Four, move out and go to college. Step Five, I guess, would be to build a career or family. I understood quite well that I was following all of the steps obediently. But what I did not prepare for was how I would actually feel during Step Four. Two weeks into my first semester of college, I already had a breakdown. I finally came to the emotional realization that my life had completely changed, and I did not feel ready to take on that change. I was on my own. My family, and therefore my heart, lived in Katy but my body was in College Station. It’s only a 75-minute drive, so I guess you’d think it’s pretty pathetic to have separation issues as a 19 year old. I even think so. But my family and I have a bond that is so beautiful and has only gotten stronger every day. They were there for me during all of my sicknesses, all of my triumphs, and they were my friends when the ones at school were not. I really thought I was pretty independent, doing all of my own chores, setting up schedules, going to work and school and dance, and managing my money. I guess I mean to say that on paper I seem like an independent person, but I later realized that I so very much depend on being around my family. I envied my parents; they went to college in their hometowns in Colombia and stayed with their families until they got professional jobs, which is not uncommon in our culture. I am more scared of having to leave them and face the future than I am of struggling in my classes. So these thoughts and feelings started circling around in my head, getting more and more intense as time went on. I deeply feared not being good enough to succeed, make it on my own. It gets to be dangerous when you sit into those pockets of fear, those holes of uncertainty where you find yourself falling deeper and forget how you fell in. You get so lost in the rumination that when you finally look up and you realize just how far down you got. Whenever I would wake up every morning, I would feel this crippling wave of nausea and had to lay down for a little bit, waiting for it to pass. I knew I needed help, so of course the first person I went to was my mom. She would check in on me throughout the day to make sure that I wasn’t studying for too long of a period of time, that I was eating, or that I had done some type of physical exercise. But no matter how hard we both tried to find a solution to pull me out of this hole, I kept having these thoughts. The first piece of advice my mom gave me was to turn to God. I remember thinking that I was already turned to Him, in my prayers. But I decided to go deeper and I focused all of my energy on His love. When the nausea would hit me, I would still lay in bed but then I would thank the Lord for all of the blessings he has bestowed on me and on my family. I would thank him for my health, my chance at an amazing education, and for my family. Every single day. During mass, I would find myself going to a place deeper than I had ever gone before; my head bowed lower and my heart felt warmer, preparing the way for the Holy Spirit to light my soul on fire. It’s not that I discovered God for the first time; I just simply gave more of myself to Him. All of these expectations I had for myself were beating me down day after day. Once I let myself listen to what He wanted from me, I let my worries go and placed my trust in Him. “Many are the plans in a person's heart, but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails." Proverbs 19:21 At approximately the same moment my mother entered into a movie house, paying 14 cents, in Brewerytown, in North Philadelphia, to see a show and view news reels depicting a demented socialist/fascist raising a stiff sleeve decorated with an ugly swastika, Father Aloysius Schmitt was disrobing following a 7:00 a.m. Mass on board the USS Oklahoma at Pearl Harbor nearly 5,000 miles away. It was cold and rainy in Philadelphia. It was balmy and warm in Hawaii. And everything was about to change. It was December 7, 1941. My mom was fourteen-years-old. She was slightly built as most girls her age. She wore respectable but not fashionable clothing. Her smile was infectious when freely given, because she came from a good and loving family, yet she oft times refrained from unrestrained gaiety unlike many of her pre-teen peers because life during the Great Depression was sometimes harsh, sometimes lonely, sometimes without explanation. It took a toll on her. This you could see in the seriousness of her large brown eyes. They were questioning eyes. In the movie house, suddenly everything went dark. A man came on stage and told everyone to “go home.” Something had happened. Something important. Somehow, my mother sensed this. Father Al sensed something, too. The quiet of the brilliantly sun-filled Hawaiian morning shattered into alarm bells squealing and calling for general quarters. The Oklahoma was being strafed by Japanese torpedoes and quickly began to sink. There were calls for help everywhere. Father Al did not hesitate. He was all over the ship helping his fellow sailors to get out before the Nevada-class battleship keeled over. There was no more time for questions. When my mother exited the movie house, she saw pandemonium in the streets. To this day she can’t even recall what the movie she was about to see was called. Who would? It didn’t matter anymore. Paperboys were already out on the street corners shouting their lungs out “EXTRA, EXTRA!” “Everything stopped,” my mom said. “We didn’t go to school the next day (Monday). Shops didn’t open. “We were in shock.” Remember, this was a time before television or instant communications, before the internet and Facebook. What did people do? They went to their homes. “We were so afraid,” mom said. They huddled close together and turned on their radios waiting for news with family and friends. And they prayed… Onboard the USS Oklahoma, the torpedoes came so fast that there was no time to prepare for a proper defense. There was no time for questions as men struggled to save their lives. The ship was listing badly. Bombs fell on U.S. forces with impunity. Nothing could stop the Japanese juggernaut. The American Pacific Fleet was being decimated, piecemeal, by Imperial Japanese forces. All the warnings of an impending attack, all the precautions taken by U.S. Army and Navy brass made absolutely no difference: except for the fortunate evacuation of American aircraft carriers days before the attack. And that was a God-send. I asked my mom what people did in the days after the attack. “Georgie,” she said, “the churches were packed.” Nobody knew exactly what would happen. Indeed, they were scared, yet, millions of men and women answered the call to an undetermined fate because they knew their service was unquestionably expected and they did not hesitate to respond. No wonder Tom Brokaw called them “The Greatest Generation.” At home, my grandmother got a job as a riveter at the Navy Yard in Philadelphia. Strange how Americans always answer the call to service when times are tough. My grandfather, my namesake, longed to serve our nation in the Second Great War, but he was too old and had three children to look after. My mom told me he was finally called up for service but only during the waning days of the war, but he could not accept. It was something he always regretted. My father joined the navy at the age of seventeen and served in the European Theater. It was something you could do in those days. Everybody just wanted to pitch in and ante-up. People did pray. Churches were full. In the days following Pearl Harbor prayers were a staple just as bread and soup were to hungry Americans during the Great Depression. But, after all those prayers, fervently said beside bedsides and altars in countless American homes, were they really answered? The Oklahoma was in dire straits on the morning of December 7, 1941. Her keel was turned over. Men were trapped beneath bulkheads that would not yield because of the pressure of onrushing sea waters. There was no help to be gained from outside sources. Only the men on board the Oklahoma who still had the facility to move about could help. Father Al, trapped like all the others, managed to help his fellow sailors escape by squeezing through a small porthole. When it was his time to go he refused, even though he was half-way through. He insisted on going back into the porthole and save as many lives as possible. And, he did. He even insisted that his shipmates push him back into the porthole despite the fact the compartment was quickly filling with seawater. A few more sailors came safely through while Father Al watched and swallowed. That day, December 7, 1941, many prayers said by many seamen were indeed answered. Prayers of family members thousands of miles away were certainly answered. And, Father Aloysius Schmitt, who came from a hard-working German immigrant family in Iowa, succumbed to the sea, answering prayers he never dreamed of. On this, the 75th Anniversary of Pearl Harbor, let’s bend a knee and give thanks to those, like Father Al, who gave us everything we know now as freedom. |
AuthorYour confirmation teachers - Kathleen, Eric, Sophia, and Valerie, and with contributions from 410 alumni Archives
September 2021
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